What my Innersight is trying to show me.

What My Inner Sight Is Trying to Show Me

Lately, I’ve been seeing colors. Not just with my eyes, but deep inside — in that quiet space where emotions live long after the moment has passed. I’ve experienced this “inner sight” for months now, but I stopped talking about it for a while. I didn’t want people to think I was being too repetitive, or dramatic, or somehow “too much.”

But the truth is, this is part of my reality — and today, it showed up again, stronger than ever.

I saw turquoise — deep and dark.
Brown around the edges.
And yellow floaters, drifting slowly through it all like tiny flickers of something trying to shine.

And for the first time in a while, I stopped to ask: What is this showing me?

Turquoise feels like an emotional ocean — like everything I’ve been carrying quietly. It’s the color of silence that’s heavy, not peaceful. It reminds me of the sadness and frustration I felt when people I once trusted and cared about… turned their backs on me. People who made me feel like I didn’t belong. People who made me feel disposable. They were part of a certain app, and part of a part of my life I once thought was safe. But then something shifted — and I was no longer welcome. The pain of that? It hasn’t completely gone away.

That’s what the brown is, I think. The past, still clinging to the edges. Not the main picture anymore, but still there. It’s the feeling of being talked about behind your back, misunderstood, or shut out — when all you were trying to do was be yourself. That part hurts, and it still stings when I check in and see that they’ve moved on like nothing happened. Maybe a part of me wishes they had stayed gone, because remembering what happened reopens the wound. But at the same time… it reminds me how far I’ve come.

Because I have moved on too.

And then there are the yellow floaters — those soft little glimmers of hope that float across the darkness. They remind me that I’m still here. That even in the middle of heartbreak, I’ve found new ways to express myself. I’ve found my voice again — through my reels, my blog posts, my advocacy, and my art. These moments of inner vision are helping me heal, piece by piece.

I think my inner sight is trying to show me something deeper:
That my feelings are still valid.
That what I went through did matter.
And that even if I don’t understand every color or every emotion right away, I can still honor them. I can still grow.

This is my way of saying to myself:
You’re allowed to feel this.
You’re allowed to speak on it.
You don’t have to carry it in silence anymore.

Maybe the colors will shift again. Maybe they already are.

But for now, I’m letting them speak.

Because they’re part of my story. And so am I.

  

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