I am still seeing red. It’s still here!

 Still Seeing Red


It has been a long time since I’ve written here, but today feels like the right day to come back.


All day long, from the moment I woke up this morning until now, my inner world has been filled with the same color — bright, glowing red. It hasn’t faded. It hasn’t shifted. It’s still here.


I am totally blind, but my sensory world is very active. I experience colors, light patterns, and movement internally. Many people think blindness means darkness, but for me, my inner vision is alive and constantly changing.


Today, though, there has been no change.


Just red.


At first, it was beautiful — strong, vibrant, and glowing. But as the hours passed, I began to feel something unexpected. I started feeling tired of seeing the same color over and over again. I found myself wishing for variety.


I caught myself thinking:


Can another color come through?  

Can something new take its place?  

Can the red step back and give the other colors a turn?


This experience reminded me of something important. Even when something is beautiful, we still need change. We still need balance. We still need variety.


Living with a unique sensory experience like this means learning to sit with whatever shows up — even when it stays longer than I want it to.


Today’s reflection:


Sometimes beauty can also feel overwhelming.  

Sometimes it’s okay to say, “I’m ready for something different.”  

And sometimes the most honest thing we can do is acknowledge exactly what we’re experiencing.


For those who live with disabilities or sensory experiences that others cannot see or understand — your inner world matters. Your experiences are real. Your voice deserves to be heard.


Tonight, the red is still here.


And I’m still waiting for the next color.


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